Crazy English Language!

[kat_woman]

You think English is easy??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewerline.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?


You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ..

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.At other times the little word has real special meaning.People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP..
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,for now my time is UP,so........it is time to shut UP!Now it's UP to you what you do with this ...

[ArELa]

good one indeed!

Gerald Celente's catchy phrazes:
"Obama keeps calling us folks... "folk" YOU man!"
"When they say "justice" they mean "just us"

[firefightergr]

some more

a piece of peace

i can see the sea

real eyes, real lies, realize

[ArELa]

real eyes, real lies, realize

real ice





and...

Ice cream / I scream

[ArELa]

I wrote a sentence in school, and I heard the sentence in court.

In bed he lies, he hears a bunch of lies, and sees his dog full of lice.

[Hlios]

Λίγο άσχετο μα λίγο σχετικό.
Θα το βάλω και αν δεν ταιριάζει
το απομακρύνουμε αργότερα δεν χάλασε ο κόσμος.

ΑΦΙΕΡΩΜΕΝΟ ΣΤΟΥΣ ΞΕΝΟ-ΜΑΝΕΙΣ
Αφιερωμένο, εξαιρετικά στους ξενομανείς, που θέλουν να αφανίσουν την Ελληνική γλώσσα.
Ξέρεις ελληνικά; Τότε ξέρεις και αγγλικά!
Το παρακάτω άρθρο είχε δημοσιευτεί πριν από καιρό σε βρετανικό περιοδικό τέχνης (;)
Αξίζει το κόπο να το διαβάσεις...!

"Published in a British Art magasine "

"The genesis of classical drama was not symptomatic. Aneuphoria of charismatic and talented protagonists showed
fantastic scenes of historic episodes. The prologue, the theme and the epilogue, comprised the trilogy of drama while synthesis,
analysis and synopsis characterized the phraseology of the text. The syntax and phraseology used by scholars,
academicians and philosophers in their rhetoric, had many grammatical idioms and idiosyncrasies.
The protagonists periodically used pseudonyms.
Anonymity was a syndrome that characterized the theatrical atmosphere.
The panoramic fantasy, the mystique, the melody, the aesthetics, the use of the cosmetic epithets are characteristics of drama.
Even through the theaters were physically gigantic, there was no need for microphones because the architecture and the acoustics would echo isometrically and crystal - clear.
Many epistomologists of physics, aerodynamics, acoustics, electronics,
electromagnetics can not analyze - explain the ideal and isometric acoustics of Hellenic theaters even today.
There were many categories of drama: classical drama, melodrama, satiric, epic, comedy, etc.
The syndrome of xenophobia or dyslexia was overcome by the pathos of the actors who practiced methodically and emphatically.
Acrobatics were also euphoric. There was a plethora of anecdotal themes, with which the acrobats
would electrify the ecstatic audience with scenes from mythical and historical episodes.
Some theatric episodes were characterized as scandalous and blasphemous.
Pornography, bigamy, hemophilia, nymphomania, polyandry, polygamy and heterosexuality were dramatized
in a pedagogical way so the mysticism about them would not cause phobia or anathema or taken as anomaly
but through logic, dialogue and analysis skepticism and the pathetic or cryptic mystery behind them would be dispelled.
It is historically and chronologically proven that theater emphasized pedagogy, idealism and harmony.
Paradoxically it also energized patriotism a phenomenon that symbolized ethnically character and phenomenal heroism."

Υπάρχει κανείς που δεν κατάλαβε, έστω και με λίγη προσπάθεια, τι έλεγε το άρθρο;

[butterfly]

Αν σκεφτουμε και τις παρανοησεις που προκυπτουν,οταν την γλωσσα τη μιλα καποιος με....προβληματικη προφορα,τοτε οντως η αγγλικη ειναι μια θεοτρελλη γλωσσα!